22 wks 2 days Fighting Hysteria January 12, 2010

Okay, I have at the very least 14 weeks to go to get to 36 which is when twins are fully cooked.  38 weeks is full term but at 36 they should be able to function on their own without going into Nicu.  That’s the goal, 98 more days,till April 25th. Anything past that is gravy.

But I am large already — walrusian in fact.  And my kankles are truly freaking me out. I put myself in compression stockings today and I fear I’ll need to wear at least support hose for the next 14 weeks. More scary is the carpal tunnel that has taken over both hands and makes my left fingers completely numb as I type this message at 10:30 in the morning.  It lasts all day long. And again it is freaking me out.  I’m sleeping in wrist guards but they are a little uncomfortable and so far not doing much to help.  And I’m drinking a lot of water to try to flush this swelling from my being but it seems to just pool in my kankles.Plus my husband has gone ape shit crazy. He didn’t come to bed last night until 4:30 in the morning. Which meant I got up at 4:30 in the morning.  It’s a little tricky to fall back asleep on your left side with smelly wrist guards (why do they smell like feet right out of the package?) my nostrils plugged up with congestion and a wiggly bowling ball stuck to my stomach. Especially when he starts snoring like a chain saw.

What was the proud father-to -be doing until 4:30 in the morning? Most likely designing a home built security system with other insomniacs from the Seattle robotics society. Our neighbors down the street got broken into so it re-sparked his desire to create a tripped-out security sys. for our house. Is he worried about protecting his wife and two babies? No. He wants to make sure no one steals his laptop or flat screen TV. So just as we are starring the huge expense of babies and hospital bills, he’s planning on buying $1,000s worth of computer equipment to ‘protect the house’.

This is a man that made turning on the TV in our house so complicated it took me two years to figure out. Plus I grew up with an alarm sys. that was horrible and traumatized me severely and almost killed our dog every time it went off. And we still got robbed — probably more frequently because the thieves felt it was a challenge to disarm it. I’m still shaking somewhere inside from that alarm system. I had to punch in a code to dismantle it but the siren (loudest noise on earth) was positioned right above the keypad. So if it accidently went out (which it did. All the time) you had to stick your head in the bugle and hit the right numbers to make it stop — before the cops and fire trucks showed up to either shoot you or fine you $50 for a false alarm. All that with a Doberman caterwauling and jumping and clawing to get out of the house. Poor dog.

I own nothing I wouldn’t hand over with a smile in order to avoid that noise again. Most days even my life. And now my crazy husband is about to make so I won’t be able to walk into my own house without a siren going off. I invited him in and now I can’t get him to leave or come to bed at a normal hour. He stole 2.5 hours of sleep from last night no alarm sys could ever retrieve. The only person it will deter is me from entering my own house.

21 weeks 4 days 1st Summersault January 7, 2010

Last night as I was in bed watching TV Twin A did the craziest thing. It felt like she entirely rolled over. The whole shape of my stomach changed and for a few minutes something hard was bumping out on the left side.  So weird & great!

Had an ultra sound on Tuesday and both twins were looking well. They weigh about a pound each now. Twin B is still almost a week behind twin A in growth but is consistently growing at a normal rate. My Dr. said I had only gained about 9 pounds total which made me happy. Although I feel huge — I guess I’m not.  Each baby still needs to gain at least 5 more pounds so I have 10 pounds of just baby to put on yet. It’s hard to imagine. Luckily so far most of the weight is in a ball on my stomach and not spread out all over.While my back pain is almost gone, I now have carpel tunnel pretty badly in both arms. My fingers are numb and tingly most of the day. The side I sleep on is usually fine but the side up goes completely numb. And my wrists were hurting like crazy in the middle of the night. Nothing like trying to drink water and finding out that you can’t hold the glass.My Dr. said this is likely to get worse before it gets better. I toom her advice and slept in wrist guards last night which maybe helped a little bit. No bout of searing pain. They have Velcro on them scared the hell out of our cat every time I moved.  I guess cats and Velcro don’t do well together. Here’s to hoping this symptom will pass. I’d hate to have twins and not be able to hold them.

20 wks 1 day Baby furniture December 28, 2009

 My lord, do I have a belly now.  It is quite a pouch and there’s no mistaking that I am pregnant.  I feel the bottom one (twin A) move around a lot and I think I’ve felt Twin B but not sure exactly where she is in there.  I already feel like a walrus and I have 4 months to go!

I get tired frequently now and the latest is I get numb in my arms and hands especially when I’m sleeping.  If I’m sleeping on my left side with a pillow between my knees my whole right side goes completely numb.  That’s the side that’s up so not being compressed in any way. It’s very strange and a little worrisome although I’ve read it is normal.  Only way to stop it is to shake it out or get up and move around.  It happens when I sit on the couch as well.The other new symptom is a rash on my right thigh.  I craved grapefruit juice and drank almost a whole carton in 3 days (calcium fortified).  Would have kept right on going with it except  for the poison ivy like patch that erupted on my right thigh and a little on my knee.  I also got the same rash on my finger and can’t wear my wedding rings anymore. Tney are white gold and I guess there’s nickel in them.  We had them re-dipped but that held for a week before they became rings of fire. I have sensitive skin so it is not unusual for me to get rashes.I think the rash is PUPPP (polymorphic eruption of pregnancy). Although it usually happens when you are carrying boys. I have a DR. appointment in a wk so if I still have it, I’ll see what she thinks. In the meantime I’m pretty good at not scratching it so it is sort of healing.Had the week off for Christmas.  Managed to find baby furniture on Craig’s List and scored two white sleigh cribs (still in Babies R Us for $429 a pop) a matching changing table/ dresser and an armoire all for $750. Plus I loved the woman I bought it from.  Her twins are 5 now, identical girls and clad head to toe in matching pink. She went in for a checkup at 4 months and was emitted to the hospital. One of her girls was born weighing only 2 lbs. She did a great job telling my husband that I needed to take it easy and relax. And he got it for the first time really. Just loved her. The furniture is in great shape.We painted the room lilac over the weekend and I can’t wait to see the furniture in there with the new color.  I just have to paint a little bit of trim touch up before we can put it all back in. I bought the paint at Ecohouse so it has low or no emissions.  Although to my pregnant nose, it was still smelly somehow.  But the paint was excellent and the same price as Behar at Home Depot. How fun.  Now we have the furniture and the room all ready. Just need the babies — but not until they are done cooking in at least another 16 wks — which is four months. Seems like an eternity but I guess I should enjoy the quiet and sleep when I can.

18 wks 3 days December 16, 2009

Had a coffee dream last night.  I  wish I could bring back the sex dreams but this was just as real.  I gave up regular coffee after my 1st miscarriage and quit even decaf after my second.  I live in Seattle.  I’m not embarrassed to say that coffee was the reason I got up in the morning.

I didn’t waste my time juggling things in my hands and going to a coffee shop either. No. I ground my own beans. I’d get something dark and organic like Sumatra and then sprinkle in a few vanilla beans just for the aroma. I’d get my Braun coffee maker going and then pour a fishbowl-sized mug of it, mix with milk and sugar, and sit and read a magazine or a novel for an hour before work. Every day.  I’d be as relaxed as a freshly run over cat by the time I’d get to work but that didn’t matter.  It was well worth it.Now I drink herbal tea. It sucks.So in the dream I was in coffee shop with a group of people.  I ordered a hot chocolate — my pregnancy drink of choice. But the barista filled the cup with coffee and added chocolate. I said, “Wait a minute, is that coffee?” he nodded. “Well is it decaf?” “Sure,” the answered. I took it knowing full well I would have to throw it out. I’ve been off coffee for months, even decaf would send me flying. I went to the bathroom and when I came back out the barista had made me another drink as an apology for making me the wrong one. The dream took on the intensity of a border crossing with cocaine strapped to my abdomen. The new drink was like a cappuccino with beautiful milky foam on the top.  I knew I hadn’t explained to him that it was the caffeine I couldn’t have but I couldn’t resist the new drink. I dipped a spoon in and scooped up the foam and in my dream I tasted the coffee flavored foam. Better than sex. And woke up.

GIRLS! December 14, 2009

 Twin girls!  Just got the results of the amnios and both are genetically fine.  Thank god.

But the big surprise is that they are both girls. I almost don’t believe it. I was expecting twin boys the whole time.  Then at the last US it looked like one of each and that was perfect too. And now we know for absolutely sure that they are both girls.It’s a lot to get my mind around. Of course I’m thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. But two girls actually sounds more overwhelming than twin boys. It’s so hard not to think immediately of adolescence and the clothes and accessories needed to maintain girls.  They will be adorable.My husband’s first words after hearing the news as, “Well I guess I better get a shotgun. I mean to keep the boys away not to protect myself!” I knew what he meant:)

17wks 4 days December 10, 2009

I am starting to feel less fragile after the double amnio. The warning signs were sever abominable cramping , bleeding, high fever or the one that really got me amnio fluid leaking out.  I had none of those symptoms.  I am still waiting for them to call me with the results. 12 – 18 days so I may not hear until the 18th. Plus I think I may be feeling the bigger twin move around a little bit every once in a while.  Either that or it is gas. It happens mostly at night when I’m settling down to sleep.

Our water heater is leaking so we are getting a new one this weekend. While we were debating what kind to get, our washer died on us. So just this morning Sears delivered a new set.  We figure there’s a lot laundry in our future so we went with  bigger Kenmore models. Of course, they couldn’t completely hook it up because out outlet is 50 amps (the old universal code) and the new plug is for 30 amps. And the washer is set except the water drain did not fit the pipe we had going to the sink.  But this weekend or even tonight my husband should be able to get them up and running.  Very exciting. And I guess we are going with an On-Demand water heater. Our plumbing/ good friend swears by them and he’s hooking it up this weekend. So now both our new washer and water will be energy efficient. And I’m happy to get these purchases out of the way before the little ones arrive.

Time to start thinking about furniture in the nursery and paint colors.  My mom has said not to buy a thing until they are born — just to make sure they are safe.  But in a month I’m going to be waddling like a duck so since I have the week of Christmas off I want to use it to prepare the nursery. It is my last wk off until they are born  – unless I get put on bed rest. Latest thought is a midnight blue accent wall with Grecian columns in gold on the edges and an arch at the top with stars in the sky. I’ll probably chicken out of the mural idea but anything is possible. Thinking about decorating their room is way more fun than buying car seats.

16 wks Amnios! December 2, 2009

16 wks 3 days. Had the Amnios yesterday at perinatal at Swedish.  First there was a 2 hr ultra sound where they measured every inch of both twins.  Both monkeys are alive and well and rolling around in there so much it was hard for the technician to get what she needed. Hence the 2 hours. They really are adorable at this stage.  I can’t believe they are moving so much and I can’t feel it yet. Probably a good thing — but of course I can’t wait. They say around wk 20 I should feel them, maybe earlier for twins.

Such good news that they are both looking healthy and growing well. 

Then we had an hour of genetic counseling which was odd. She took down our family histories and in a way seemed to almost be persuading us not to do the amnio. But I think it is more they want no legal responsibility in case they screw up.

My husband’s 1st cousin had a baby with Down’s syndrome so there’s no talking him out of it. 1 in 1,000 babies will have a problem with it and possibly miscarry. I pictured a room with a thousand babies and one of them getting X-ed. Then another since I have two and they needed to do it twice. I don’t like those odds. But I signed the form and went through with it. If my regular OBGYN and one of my best friends hadn’t told me that we needed to do it, I think I would have chickened out. If we had a single pregnancy and they could do the quad 4 blood test — I wouldn’t go through with the amnio. But with twins, amnio is the only way to tell if the chromosomes are right.  And having a baby with a sever chromosomal problem — that would only live a short while possibly in pain and bankrupt us would be worse then loosing one now. I think. Hopefully we will not experience either of those scenarios.

The actual process took 4 Dr./nurses/technicians in the room. 5 people if you count my husband squeezing my hand. First they injected dye into one of my embryos so they could tell the sacks apart. Then they use an ultra sound to find spots where the baby isn’t in the sacks and they puncture straight through my stomach and grabbed about 22 ml from each one. It was almost as much as a small blood vile.  I wasn’t expecting them to take that much fluid.  I felt it being removed, or felt something very wrong. The puncture didn’t hurt that much.  After IVF who cares about needles?  What sucked was the cramps afterward. And the fear of harming the babies.

They said the uterus is a big muscle and it will cramp. So it wasn’t the babies feeling pain or reacting. I didn’t see them react to it on the screen. And they said the fluid will be replaced within 24 hrs. I’m still peeing green as they said I would. It’s just the dye making its way out of my system.

Problems usually happen within the first 48 hours. The sacks can leak and you can get clear/yellow embryotic fluid or a fever or sever cramping.  So far so good. I would have liked to take today off but of course I was on deadline with the magazine and couldn’t but it is still a desk job which they said was alright.  No gym for 2 days.

Now we wait 12-18 days for the results. I’m thinking positively about it. But that’s a long time to wait.

Also, I have a cute little belly now for sure. Still wearing regular clothes although my one pair of maternity jeans is more comfortable. Tomorrow I have a regular OGBYN appointment. Not sure what to expect but the weigh in will be interesting. I’m guessing 8-10 pounds gain since my last appointment over a month ago.

14 wks 4 days November 19, 2009

 

Here’s the list of Twin essentials we scored from a co-worker who just had them.  It is not comprehensive but a starting point. Who knew you could rent a breast bump and therefore have the Cadillac model without spending a fortune. Brilliant!

1. Boppy pillow (2)
2. Breast Pump – rent the Medela Symphony at Birth and Beyond
3. Miracle Blanket swaddle blanket (2)
4. Chicco Keyfit car seats
5. Arms Reach Cosleeper (not the mini version…get the full size)
6. Baby Bjorn – sport version has extra back support (1)
7. Sling – see which one you like…Birth and Beyond helps you try on different ones
8. Bouncy Chair (2)…these are a life saver…also great for them to sleep in if sick because keeps their heads elevated. 

14 wks November 16, 2009

Week 14 and I have a little belly that’s starting to show.  Strangers wouldn’t stop me on the street or anything but it’s there and I can feel it.  Especially at night. It’s very exciting.  I still haven’t managed to get a picture of my stomach but maybe I’ll insist on a photo shoot tonight. 

And I’m hungry now. Still nauseous, especially after I eat but there’s this void that needs to be filled and I want meat. Although cooking it makes me queasy.  I want someone to throw it into my cage.

Also I have acne for the 1^st time in my life. It’s not horrible looking but all over my face are little bumps and larger zits threatening just below the surface of my skin. I’m chasing them around with Clearasil and using an acne fighting face powder from Neutrogena. But I guess I have up the ante because it is getting worse.

I always thought the pregnancy ‘glow’ was more of an aura thing. You know, like I would suddenly appear to be celestial and playing the harp with angels all around. But no, it’s oily skin and I’m breaking out.

13wks 5 days Coming Out November 13, 2009

I came out today at work.  Actually I spilled the beans to two co-workers the evening before when I realized I was walking around the office with the top button of jeans undone and my sweater wasn’t long enough to cover it.  Classy.

So now I have flowers from my boss who was quick on the draw in Texas. And a few co-workers are finding out by word-of-mouth.  I’m still so squeamish about telling people and having them know about it.  Maybe it’s post dramatic stress disorder from the first two miscarriages. Or perhaps the looming amnios on Dec 1st.But most fun was telling one co-worker who had twins of her own less than a year ago. She was thrilled and full of great information.  And even a shopping list which I’ve been searching for. I’ll post it under a separate entry.

Now I’m realizing it’s Friday the 13th and the Cat’s officially out of the bag.